On July 21, 2016, around 2:00 am, I did it!!! I finally finished the basic framework of the game engine. It took three years, about 1,095 days, approximately 15,330 hours of work. It demanded that I wake up earlier than most people (5:00 am), so I could squeeze in about two hours of coding before heading to work. It asked that I spent my lunch hours coding at Coffee Bean instead of enjoying lunch with colleagues. Instead of relaxing after a long day of work, it forced me to code until the late hours of the night (approx 7:00 pm-1:00 am). And it made me say goodbye to my weekends. Weekends that I spent coding in my room or at Starbucks instead of enjoying life.
But I did it!!! And I'm damn proud of myself.
And NO! I am not proud because it proved that I am an amazing engineer. That ego left my soul a long time ago. I am proud because I DID NOT GIVE UP. I am proud because I persevered every day. I am proud because I was able to control my mind and tell it to SHUT UP when it was telling me to throw the towel.
I started this project back in June 2013 because I wanted to do something beyond my intellectual capabilities. Instead, I discovered that my failures in life were related to never having practiced Not-Giving-Up.
Most of us are good at giving up because that is all that we have practiced. We start the year with the resolution to lose weight, but when it becomes tough, we give up. We start hopeful with a new business venture, but when things are going sour, we give up. We start motivated to learn a new skill, but when it is taking longer than planned, we give up. All that we have practiced, all that we know is HOW TO GIVE UP. And there are no gurus, no self-help books, no quotes that can teach you how NOT to give up but yourself.
This project improved my math, coding and engineering skills tenfold. However, I could care less. Because all the knowledge, imagination and talent is worth nothing if you have the habit of giving up. This project instilled in me the habit of NOT giving up, and that is what I'm most proud of.
Game Engine Timeline
So what is next?
I will do several demos to showcase the features of the engine. I will keep working on the engine and hopefully will have a beta version ready by the end of the year.
To all of those individuals that throughout my life told me that I was not good enough, smart enough or capable enough, you were right! I am not good enough. I am great enough!